A Tangled Wedding Story

Since we are quickly approaching Valentine's Day, I thought I would post a few more articles on love in the Ozarks.

The country editor has trials of various kinds of his own and some have worse troubles than others. An Arkansas man had written an article about a wedding that had occurred in his town and gave it to a printer to be set in type. The printer had been indulging to a limited extent in hydrant water, and he got the wedding article mixed up with a public sale notice and the whole thing appeared like this:

Public Sale —'William Jones, the only son of Mr. and Mrs. Josiah Jones, was disposed of at public auction to Miss Lucy Anderson on my farm one mile east of Leonardville in the presence of seventy cows, including the following, to-wit: Seven mules, twelve head of Rev. Jackman tied the nuptial knot, with crinkly horns and one muley cow.

The beautiful home of the bride was tastefully decorated with one Blackhawk corn planter, one sulky hay rake, one feed grinder, one set of double harness nearly new and just before the ceremony was pronounced the bride's sister played one Jersey cow fresh in the spring, carrying a large bunch of flowers in her hand and looking charming in one set of sleigh bells, six shocks of corn, three ricks of hay, one grindstone, Mouseline de soie, and trimmed with about ten bushels of wheat. The groom is a well known Durham bull, with ring in nose, and has always stood well with six Durham hogs, while the bride is an accomplished driver with flowing mane and tail. Among the beautiful presents were two sets knives and forks, one steam engine, one riding plow, one wheelbarrow, go-cart, bob sled and other articles too numerous to mention. The bridal couple left for an extended honeymoon trip.

Terms: Twelve months cash. Lunch will be served after the sale after which Mr. and Mrs. Jones will go to housekeeping in a haymow full of hay and two corn cribs in a cozy house near the corner of Main and chicken house close by.

Colonel L. B. Bray, auctioneer.

Works Cited:
“And the Printer Pied Type on Wedding.” Seattle Republican (22 Nov. 1912) A-2. Access Newspaper Archive. Baxter County Library, Mountain Home, AR. 1 Dec. 2009.